Wednesday, October 12, 2011

remembering a good buddy

chizel dick. his name is charlie, we dedicated INVASION! from planet C to him. he earned the name chizel dick. this photo makes me laugh so hard i nearly shit myself every time i see it.
my parents occupy about 300 acres in the Texas hill country, a great spot on the planet. this particular summer there were a crew of us out there. the guy in the background in the yellow shirt is the brother of rev speef. in the forground, chizel's shirt says "relax i'm a professional". my mom and dad had just left us at the ranch for a week or so, we were charged with fucking these oaks over into fire wood. we had been out in the bush for a good couple days. one evening around the ranch house this big fucker came up in the meadow. chizel grabbed my dad's m1. he blasted this guys ass. literally, shot him in the ass. it was dark. this guy fell like a sack of potatoes. we continued drinking beers and didn't give a fuck about him. this meadow is like a golf course, my dad keeps it debris free. its probably a 2 acre front yard of sorts. in the morning we wake up and there is this huge feral pig, just laying in it looking rigor-mortised. we keep after the wood , thinking we'll drag the pig somewhere eventually before my dad gets back. well we are getting after the wood so hard , by the end of the day , the last thing we want to do is monkey fuck a stinky ass rigored swine. a couple days pass, the fucker is still there every morning. looking stiffer and stiffer. the night before my parents are due to return, it pours rain. now we have a slippery rotting dead pile of stink. the morning of the day my parents are due to show up, we know it is time to drag that fucker off some where. we tie him with some rope and start dragging him. well we put him on this trailer thing we had and start dragging him in that up in the hills. the trailer breaks. we tie him up with some ropes and continue dragging that stinky slippery pile of filth up in the hills. the rope breaks, finally we pull out this chain you see in the pic. wrapping this hog with a chain is a terrible , terrible thing to do. the stink immediately causes a gag reflex. this pile of rotting flesh had ticks and maggots everywhere. we get him up to this "hog pile" of sorts. we had a few other rotten carcasses from other feral pigs up on this one spot. my buddy in the yellow shirt is that far away because the stink was that bad. this entire journey was a colossal dumb ass moment. i hadn't laughed that hard EVER. we were laughing our asses off at how fucking stupid we were, we were paying for it. charlie o.d. on oxycotin and some other shit back in 2005. RIP buddy.

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